Kindergarten cop 2 posters movie#
Kindergarten cop 2 posters series#

Let’s call this part of the review an intermission, a sudden moment of awareness and clarity, or perhaps an over indulgence in alcohol, but I found myself nearly an hour into this movie thinking that “this movie is impossible!” Not physically impossible, because, well, here we are. For some reason, in my mind, this conjures the infamous Willie Soke of BAD SANTA fame muttering: “Great. The Godless heathens who make up the kindergarten class are busy at work finger painting, crying, and inciting a general state of chaos, which doesn’t negate the occasional funny line such as one when a boy whispers–in secret– to Dolph: “My sister has a vagina”. The man who orchestrated the crime – a kindergarten teacher, as it were – is believed to have hidden the flash drive in the classroom, and now Dolph must impersonate a teacher in hopes of acquiring the drive. KINDERGARTEN COP 2 is about a team of nefarious fiends who hide a flash drive that contains a leaked list of individuals in the ever elusive witness protection program. You’ve been feverishly asking “what is this masterpiece really about, anyway?” All this candy business aside, perhaps I should share with you the larger plot, because I know you’ve been pining for it. Immediately following, there is an abrupt cut away, but I can only assume that Dolph got the Twix he was owed. He uses the machine as a rolling shield and pushes it atop an evil-doer, and this moment is accompanied by the ever-iconic Wilhelm Scream, if that matters to anyone but me. Now, mind you, there hasn’t really been ANY cause for alarm, but despite this, he begins firing. Dolph kills nearly all of these “figures,” presumably thankful that they weren’t postal workers, old women, children, janitors, or other officers housed in such a giant police station.īut the best part is when Dolph’s intrepid Agent Reed takes a vending machine that had previously given him the shaft by way of keeping his Twix bar.

Kindergarten cop 2 posters series#

As he prowls the dark hallways, he sees a series of figures at the base of the stairs. When the power suddenly goes out during said interrogation, Dolph swiftly withdraws his firearm, because power outages are usually the result of nefarious assassins and not weather or other natural causes, obviously. We begin with an interrogation conducted by our faithful hero. Let’s talk about what matters most: the movie itself. But back in the day, who didn’t love them some Rowdy Roddy Piper or Hulk Hogan? Alas, those days are gone for me.ĭolph Lundgren, that meat suit spilling with testosterone, coveted by women like some second rate Pitt or Fabio doesn’t seem to know that in reality he looks like Dennis Leary on some unhealthy regiment of steroids and Muscle Milk.īut I can’t go on commenting on Dolph, lest I find myself going on forever about the cardboard acting, or the arthritic movements of a man who appears to have trouble simply walking from one room to another. I don’t watch many modern films that exploit a fighter’s potential to act beyond getting angry and throwing chairs. Alas, the results here are virtually unfathomable.īut let me step back for a moment and explain where I’m coming from. As a fan of the original film, however – and a fan of Ahnold specifically (no, he doesn’t make a cameo) – I felt compelled to see this one through to the end.

KINDERGARTEN COP 2…Let me begin by saying that I went into this movie with an almost astonishingly low level of expectations, considering the obvious and decidedly bad material that looked to be on display.